What are crying dreams about?

Hello all!
About 2 weeks ago I had a very existential lucid nightmare that I can’t get out of my head. It’s to the point where it has been effecting my waking life. I need some outside help making sense of what it could mean.

For context, I have existential issues involving what my purpose in life is or even if I am supposed to exist at all.

So it began in a sort of black void with a warm colored aurora in the sky. Directly in front of me there is a hooded man with his left eye missing that looks like an older grizzled version of me. Same look, voice, eye color, scar on our upper lip, everything. He is looking into a circular stone fountain looking thing with a bonfire positioned on a raised platform in the middle.

Around him in every direction as far as I could see were hundreds of thousands of gravestones. All of them had a vague “endings” written on them. (For example, “The Swiss Ending”, “The Atomic Ending”, “The Fantastical Ending”, etc.) Some were filled in while most had empty holes in front of them.

I approached the man in the middle and politely asked who he is and where I was. He simply responded with this,
“You know where we are, this is where we all go to die. Now find your grave, I’ll help you out when you get there.”
I responded with,
“My apologies, pal, I’m not dead yet. Who did you say you were again?”
“Does it matter? We’re all the same here anyway.”
That is when it occurred to me. All these graves were for different versions of me. From different realities or universes I don’t know. I was fairly certain I wasn’t dead and this was all just a bad dream so I decided to explore and possibly see which gravestone in this labyrinthine graveyard was mine.

As I walked, I started to feel a tug from my chest, like my heart was being pulled in a certain direction. I followed the pull for what seemed like ages. Eventually the graves just stopped except for this one gravestone sitting alone just outside of where the rest of them lay. As I approached my soul felt like it was it was sitting next to a cozy fireplace, so I had the feeling that this grave was mine.

I eventually got close enough to read it had it not been for the dust and debris that covered it. It looked old and dilapidated yet it still had an open plot in front of it. I brushed off the dirt covering the gravestone and what I read chilled me to my soul.
“The Bad Ending”

The old man came from beside me.
“What an unfortunate soul this one. Feel real bad for him, you know?”
“I think that’s me.”
“What? No, it couldn’t, he’s not-“
He looked at me, his face grew grim.
“Oh shit, you’re not supposed to be here yet!”
He then grabbed my face and I felt my brain shock like it had just been struck by Thor himself.

Then I woke up. Sweating, crying, and white-knuckled. It’s absolutely fucked with my mind ever since.

It began with me playing outside, I was a child and had siblings, loving parents, it was was in a mideval time era. I remember my teenage years, I learned archery and swordplay (archery was my prowess) and joined the military as a young man. I served as a guard for my town and then was called away to war. Over the years, I progressed from soldier, to captain, to general, then eventually king.

I married and had children and eventually grandchildren. Then at the end of my life I remember sitting alone on a chair in the woods; fall had come, dead leaves blowing by on a wind that promised snow was not far away. I remember appreciating my life and my loved ones as my long gray hair blew across my face in the wind. I remember a single tear falling from my face as I knew my time had come to die. Then my life flashed before my eyes, in reverse, back to when I was a child, and with a white light I awoke in my bed with tears on my face.

I cried in earnest then, for the loss of those I loved, knowing that even though they werent real, Id never see them again. I’ll never forget that dream, it was... yeah, no word can describe it, surreal doesnt do it justice. I was 10.

I had a crush on a girl 32 year ago. I never told her that I had a crush on her.

I haven't thought about her 32 years.

Last night, I had a dream. She was pushing a stroller to a park and complaining to other moms that I didn't help out with changing diapers. I was running around with other people playing football, but I still heard what she said.

Against my better judgement, I looked her up online this morning.

I was beyond shocked and sat in front of my computer motionless for almost half an hour or longer. I felt no air in my lungs and it was as if my body forgot how to breathe...

I found out that she had just passed away 11 days ago. There was an obituary from her family as well. Not really sure why, but I called her phone number from 32 years ago. The number was her parent's house from back then. A man picked up. It turned out to be her brother. He and his family now lives in that house. I told him who I was and he remembered me.

As I started telling him about my dream from last night, he became very quiet and said nothing for several minutes. I thought line had gone dead, but it turned out that he was crying. What he said next shocked me to my core... He said "did you know that she also had a major crush on you back then?" and "a couple weeks before she died, she said she was still in love with you and she really wanted to see you one last time, but we didn't know how to get in contact with you"....

I feel all the energy drained out of me. My entire body feels like it was injected with pure sadness that no words could describe.

Ok so I (m) have a female best friend. We have been friends for over 10 years with about a 4 year spread of little contact when she moved across the country.

She moved back 2 years ago and we have started to fall back to the friendship we had before she moved away.

Anyway last night I had an extremely vivid dream. I was at my mother's house for a cookout. Spring/summertime and there were several people there. My mom, her husband my two brothers myself my current girlfriend and several people that I don't think I actually know, just fillers I suppose. I also wanna preface that I don't dream often (atleast don't remember them) but when I do I remember I usually remember the beginning like waking up that day in my dream. But with this one it was like my consciousness was pushed in my body in the middle of the cookout.

So back to what's going on. So when I became conscious in the dream i remember thinking "how did I get here? I don't remember being here just a few minutes ago" and then my friends car pulled in the driveway. When she got out of the car she was visibly upset. I got up from my seat to greet her and noticed she was upset. I asked her what was wrong and she broke down and started crying. Then she produced a pistol from her purse and shot me twice in the chest.

I was stunned at first not realizing what happened. Then I felt the burn of the gunshot wounds, the warmth of my blood leak from chest. Then I fell over. I felt the cool damp grass on my face and the warmth of my blood on my torso. I remember feeling my energy drain from my body and then I took my last breath. When I died in the dream I woke up but it wasn't sudden or a jerk to being awake. It was like waking up any other day. But I had to feel my chest to make sure I wasn't shot. It was very vivid and I remember it so clearly.

What bugs me is that we have not argued or been in a fight or anything recently. Can you guys give some guidance?

I just had a dream in which I was a psychopath and was going around killing people, I killed 776 people... The imagery was so realistic that I woke up afraid of myself, crying... I was Shaking from this experience. Please help me decode this... Although I don't remember all my murders, I remember 2 of them... I can tell you both of em in extreme detail but they are kind of disturbing. Please interpret my dream.