What are suicide dreams about?

The dream itself was very long and draining to have. I was watching a 2 hour long analysis/breakdown of an experimental horror movie. The title of the movie, as you may be able to guess, was "Lars and Tsil". It was the most depressing, soul-crushing piece of media someone could watch, and I had to google it to make sure it was really a dream, as I could've watched it in a semi-lucid, semi-blackout drunk state.

The movie was about a food reviewer (Lars) and his mom (Tsil). It was shot like a home movie, and followed the two main characters in their daily lives. They lived in the woods, secluded from society, and became increasingly shut-in as the movie went on. Lars' videos became stranger and his mannerisms, increasingly cryptic, he spoke only in tongues and riddles near the end and his took only a measly bite of the food he was reviewing.

The mom, Tsil, spoke less and less as time went by and would spend all day in her rocking chair, staring at a clock on the wall. The analysis argued she was simply tired of living and waited for her own death, or the moment this clock would stop ticking.

By the end of the movie, they made a suicide pact and ended their lives. The last scene was that of an obituary on a newspaper, zooming out, you could see that it was an empty street. A gust of wind blew the newspaper into a sewer grate, and credits rolled. This supposedly symbolized how everyone is forgotten in the end, no matter how they lived their lives. The only thing you could control was *how long* before you were forgotten.

This dream has left me deeply shaken and I feel an omnipresent dread. This dream fucked me up just a little.

I had a dream about my family not accepting me because I am gay so I started to cut my throat with a knife but then decided to stop and kill my mom instead. I cut her with the same knife.

And then I was a baby cow eating pudding in a supermarket while hiding from an evil wizard.

What the fuck is even going on here? Where did this violent part come from? Why did it shift to nonsense so quickly?

For Context: this dream (which I never have) is a Nightmare with a good ending. I also want to note I am a survivor of 3 suicide attempts. I really shouldn't be alive.

The dream started with being in a classroom and this girl came up but like on her hands and feet all feral like. Super skinny, feral positioned, blonde hair scraggly with sharp teeth and leaped from desk to desk. I seemed ti be the only one who noticed as she jumped from desk to desk antagonizing students who didnt see her. She started screeching super loud. I muttered "ugh omg shut up".

She slowly turned her head to me and thats when I noticed her eyes were black. She crawled on the desks slowly and like the woman from the grudge. Now the classroom was empty. I then realized i was the only one who saw her and she was looking for someone who did. Now she was in my face and all i did was look down. She lifted my chin up with boney fingers and in a demonic voice said "you know we have a 5 year old son and he always loved me first". I looked down suddenly feeling that pain of heart break in stomach. I Said nothing. Didnt move. I now realized who she was so when I looked up She was now the girl my ex cheated on me with. She smiled and i staid solumm. She got mad that I wasnt getting upset. She yelled "WHY ARENT YOU ANGRY." I looked up with tears forming and said "It is a different feeling when you learn the love of your life was with someone else."

Her face realized something. She looked liked she was going to cry. I know why. But then suddenly she was back into the weird girl again, screeched, and ran away. The room was empty and flooding. I went outside and it was raining with thunder. People ran but i saw a puddle in the parking lot turn into the ocean.

I said outloud "I belong there". I waded into the water I felt it, i felt the rain. i knew i was going to kill myself. I could feel the fear leave, like it does. It felt so good in the water. Like it was meant to be. I got to my upper waste when a man on a boat came by. He had shaved black hair, small spike gadges, and pukah shells. The rain stopped but the sky was still grey.

"Hey there. Watcha doin?" He said. "Im not sure" I said. He smiled and said "well i could use your help saving more, they're lost in this storm, like you". Confused, he then pulled me into his boat and there were small seal pups everywhere. "They lost their mothers. They dont understand how to survive without someone to show them. Will you help me?"he asked. I said of course and the rest of the dream we went through the outer shores pulling in seals into the boat. I held the ones crying for there mothers until they looked at me and felt safe. The man did the same and sat with me. He took my hand and said,

"Survivors need to help those still surviving. It's really only when the Survivors do this, that they realized they themselves have finally survived."

And I woke up

My best friend committed suicide, I haven’t been mentally stable since. I haven’t gon crazy but somethings changed in me ever since i heard that news.

The other night I dreamt of him, he was asking me for help. He’s was asking to get him out of a place, he looked so worried, he was holding me and begging me for help. Some some reason I couldn’t do anything in my dream, all I literally did was stand there and look at him.

Maybe that portrayed that I couldn’t help him when he needed help but I didn’t know he was in pain.

I had a dream recently where I was sitting on a patio beside a communist block building. As I sat there, I watched as men and women in business attire fell from the building to their death around me. They didn’t jump, simply walked out of their windows. I didn’t feel scared so I wouldn’t describe it as a nightmare. It was unsettling, but I remember watching in awe.

What if anything could this be interpreted as?