What are heart dreams about?

Hello all!
About 2 weeks ago I had a very existential lucid nightmare that I can’t get out of my head. It’s to the point where it has been effecting my waking life. I need some outside help making sense of what it could mean.

For context, I have existential issues involving what my purpose in life is or even if I am supposed to exist at all.

So it began in a sort of black void with a warm colored aurora in the sky. Directly in front of me there is a hooded man with his left eye missing that looks like an older grizzled version of me. Same look, voice, eye color, scar on our upper lip, everything. He is looking into a circular stone fountain looking thing with a bonfire positioned on a raised platform in the middle.

Around him in every direction as far as I could see were hundreds of thousands of gravestones. All of them had a vague “endings” written on them. (For example, “The Swiss Ending”, “The Atomic Ending”, “The Fantastical Ending”, etc.) Some were filled in while most had empty holes in front of them.

I approached the man in the middle and politely asked who he is and where I was. He simply responded with this,
“You know where we are, this is where we all go to die. Now find your grave, I’ll help you out when you get there.”
I responded with,
“My apologies, pal, I’m not dead yet. Who did you say you were again?”
“Does it matter? We’re all the same here anyway.”
That is when it occurred to me. All these graves were for different versions of me. From different realities or universes I don’t know. I was fairly certain I wasn’t dead and this was all just a bad dream so I decided to explore and possibly see which gravestone in this labyrinthine graveyard was mine.

As I walked, I started to feel a tug from my chest, like my heart was being pulled in a certain direction. I followed the pull for what seemed like ages. Eventually the graves just stopped except for this one gravestone sitting alone just outside of where the rest of them lay. As I approached my soul felt like it was it was sitting next to a cozy fireplace, so I had the feeling that this grave was mine.

I eventually got close enough to read it had it not been for the dust and debris that covered it. It looked old and dilapidated yet it still had an open plot in front of it. I brushed off the dirt covering the gravestone and what I read chilled me to my soul.
“The Bad Ending”

The old man came from beside me.
“What an unfortunate soul this one. Feel real bad for him, you know?”
“I think that’s me.”
“What? No, it couldn’t, he’s not-“
He looked at me, his face grew grim.
“Oh shit, you’re not supposed to be here yet!”
He then grabbed my face and I felt my brain shock like it had just been struck by Thor himself.

Then I woke up. Sweating, crying, and white-knuckled. It’s absolutely fucked with my mind ever since.

When I was a child about 25 years ago I had this dream. That time I had no knowledge of afterlife, death etc.

So in this dream I was standing in this vast flat ground which had I think brown sand bordered by a rocky hill and on the other side was a huge calm river. There was a looong line of people starting beyond the rocky hill and till the river. For a brief moment I walked by the line and saw people's faces. They did not see me, they did not have any expression in their faces and stood in a droopy stance but I could sense some sadness. I don't think the line was moving very quickly. On the river, a single boat was taking one person each time across.

Near the line I saw a gazebo. Some beings took me there. I was not afraid of them because they looked like masked people (from the mask dance at monasteries, you can google mask dance of Sikkim to know what the beings looked like). They all were doing silly things and I was laughing my heart out which made them very happy. Until one tall being with a "Heman" like hair cut was shaking his head in a funny way while I was laughing and I noticed is stick like torso. At that moment I realised that these were not mask men but real creatures and that scared me to wake.

In my dream I had walked into a gas station when I began hearing odd noises. I walked to the back of the store despite protestations from the worker. There, I found what looked like a nether portal from minecraft sitting next to a copper spiral shaped stone. There were military people working on calculations. When they turned around, I told them I knew what it was, to let me try something. That was when I put my hands in the portal, closed my eyes, and tried to astral project into it. It worked, and I was transported to a library of knowledge where the librarian told me of several rules that were in place. I was expected to follow them. If I missed a library session I was up for removal of membership. Long story short, I ended up missing a session but was able to show I was pure of heart in intentions and was allowed back in.

Now here comes the odd part, I woke up and searched for the library of knowledge on the internet. What I found was a place called Chantilly Castle Library. The exact one I was in! I’ve never seen images of it before then, but I know it was the same one. There were also numbers involved in the dream. 30 and 32 which mean interesting things in numerology.

So any ideas? Any suggestions on where to go after this?

⚠️Warning: this may freak you out, so just prepare yourself if you are one to be scared easily. ⚠️

My nightmare was set up in the country. Not much people, not much drama. I was kidnapped and taken to this house where there was nothing but grass for miles. No trees, or animals, or anything. Just grass. With a decently small house plopped mid-center. When I was walked into the house, there was an around 30 year old male in the dining room, praying. But it wasn’t like a normal pray like you would imagine it to be. He was praying to the people that had died in that house. He was afraid they might do something to him “again.” The dining room was to the left. The bathroom was no more than four feet in front of the front entrance. And the living room was to the right. Very small, comfy, country house-like building. There was also a women in the living room just relaxing on the couch. She was staring at the tv, of course my dream wasn’t that detailed so I don’t know what was on, but I know she was watching it. The kidnappers sat me down on the couch next to her. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t do anything. I just sat there, watching the tv with her. It was one of those houses where you could just *feel* the spirits that were haunting it. It was terrible. Anyways, then, I had to use the restroom. It was incredibly small. You took one step in and to the right was the toilet and left was the sink. That’s it. You had room to stand between the two and nothing more. There were mirrors above both the toilet and the sink. So, I did what I need to do and sat down. I had my palms against my forehead. And suddenly *EVERYTHING* turns absolutely pitch black. Silent and I could feel the pounding of my heart in the dream and in real life. Blood is not dripping from every crack and corner of the ceiling. It was gory as crap. Then, pale arms and hands with the brightest red nail polish I’ve ever seen start to grasp my knees. I hear “You’ll find us where you least expect it” in a whispering, faint, women’s voice. No one was talking to me, I didn’t see any faces; it was as if there were a speaker in the bathroom. Then, I woke up. I immediately went to the bathroom. Somehow wasn’t freaked out by that, but I could NOT look into the mirror. I poured my eyes out. It was, jeez. Don’t have a word for that.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to share any alike experiences :)

I need to stop going to this world when I fall asleep. It takes place at my high school, it represents my fears and my reluctance to move on from someone from what I understand. I’ve been visiting this place for around 8 months now. It’s the same environment and just slightly different subplots each time. I need to move on and let go of both this place and the people in it. I want so badly to move on and never go back to that place. I’m sick of dream after dream of going through some meaningless story that’s just another variation of the 1000 others. The emotions are always the same - I’m scared to see the person I’m avoiding, the environment is comfortable because it has my friends and classes I’ve enjoyed in the past, but I know I don’t really belong there anymore.

This is impacting my waking life. I wake up and my heart hurts from the person I’m avoiding/missing and I spend the day sad and anxious. I just need them to stop. I don’t talk to this person any more, I barely talk to anyone from my high school, and I haven’t visited my hometown lately. The intensity of what I’m feeling doesn’t change as time goes on and I just want to be free.