What are thing dreams about?

I'm 24 years old. When i was a young girl, my dad used to sexually abuse me and my sister. It was happening in the whole family, my uncles sexually abused their daughters and us, and my father did the same with other girls in the family. It was disgusting, really.
I used to have fights with my dad about that, I stood to him and confronted him a lot and he used to hit me for it until that ended when I was like 15 years old. He also used to physically abuse us and my mother all the time. Our lives when he was around were a fucking nightmare.
I had a little sister, we tried to protect her from all of that for a long time, I'm not sure we did though. When she was 16, she killed herself. She threw herself from the roof and died instantly. I know that my father was the one who caused that.
I'm telling all of that to say that I really hate him for a lot of reasons, not the ones that I can let go. We live without him now and whenever he comes, I don't talk with him and I try to not even see him. I go out, pretend that i'm sleeping or just ignore him. He tries to talk to us but we don't want anything to do with him. My sister and I are trying to fix what he did to us without any professional help because where I live there isn't that much of good therapists and we can't afford the good ones since we don't have time, so..
Today I had a dream that I was having consensual sex with him. I wanted it to happen and I felt good. I don't know what does that mean. When I'm awake, all I think of him is that he is a pathetic, worthless old piece of shit, and If you saw him or dealt with him you would agree. So I'm so confused about that dream.
Normally when I have a weird dream, I talk with my boyfriend about it and he tries to help me figure it out. By the way, my boyfriend and I don't have sex because I'm having troubles with my sexual life, and that's very okay by him because he's giving me the time I need before trying to have sex. So now I can't even talk to him about that fucked up shit to help me. Does anybody have any explanation for this or any Idea what is that all about?
Sorry for talking too much but I was trying to give you an idea about the whole situation.

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had a dream last night where I met a girl who said she was on shrooms and we just hung out all day. I didn't feel as if I knew her from anywhere or anythin like just but I felt like we resonated really well and now I just have this sudden urge to see them irl. if I meet a girl soon that mirrors that person imma flip