What are pant dreams about?

It started with some military man trying to kill me with a sniper in a house i runned out and jumped behind a dirt wall and had to crawl to not get shot and i was with some other military man ( i cant remember anything else about him) we crawled and jumped on some flying tiles and a wierd man just standed there red coat yellow scarf blue pants black shoes and hair very pale and just listened to music that happened twice suddendly we found a bunker and hid behind a wall we thought there was two soliders coming i stabbed one with a glass bottle and suddendly it became my ex i held her while she fell on the floor and randomly kissed her🤨 and just looked at her. After that i woke up and i cant understand this dream. Please help

Monster was chasing me ( i am a guy ) then it cornered me so i looked at it and seductively said " wanna see me do squats?" Monster stopped trying to eat me and told me to take off my pants, i did as he asked and i bent over, revealing my posterior.....
You know what happens next, don't you?

So I just woke up, I was going to sleep for the night around 9pm(long day) and it’s 11:30 right now. The earliest part I can remember is me in an incredibly nice house owned by two women I don’t recognize, my cousin was there with me as well. He was just watching TV in one of the rooms and I was in another on my phone. Next thing I see a woman with her hand on my pants like she’s about to suck my dick, moving her mouth around and flexing her tongue. “Hold on I’m stretching” she then sucks my dick until I climax(bare with me ) She then starts talking about how a New Mexican poolboy started working and how he has a “fat bulge” and if they should invite him up. At this point I ask for another blowjob(not sure why) and she gives it to me, but I never got to climax, right in the middle of it, everything flashes black. Next thing you know the woman who was sucking my dick has my cousin bent over a table with his arm behind his back and clearly struggling. The woman had a really massive dick and I immediately ran out of the room. She/he was asking for something, screaming it (I don’t remember right now) and I run into my backyard in real life somehow. I take a long piss on my deck and run back inside for my cousin who I can still hear screaming. At this point I’m still inside of my house. Everything is dark and I’m in the kitchen and I see a disturbed little white blonde girl( also unfamiliar) asking for something in a kind way( don’t remember). I try to walk away out of the kitchen but the girl is holding onto my hand resisting. I see flashes of words appear, as if I’m in a videogame. I can only make out a few words, some appearing in blood and appearing for no more than a second at a time every 5 seconds. I notice one in particular “GO UP”, I then heard my cousin screaming from upstairs “(name) HELP” I run upstairs , I tell it’s coming from my bathroom and I open the door. “(Name) HELP HELP *i open the door* (name) help I’m a sexy tub of black ink” I see the bathtub filled to the brim with some sort of black liquid and the number “66” appear in my vision in blood red as if in a videogame again. I run away with the girl, and the tub of black liquid screaming at me with numbers and words still flashing in my vision. At this point I realize it’s a dream and it’s better to wake the fuck up right now. I manage to wake up and here I am. Literally no idea what it means and a little disturbed. Help if you can interpret

My mom fractured bones from her cheeks and I accompanied her in the hospital with my extended family.

When my mom's in the MRI, everyone of us could hear her muffled screams as well as seeing the images from a screen.

My grandma noticed that the butt area of my pants are torn apart and warned me. Some of the pants/shorts I have IRL are torn apart in the crotch area, but never in the butt. Also in the dream, I was wearing white underwear when the last time I wore white underwear was when I was a child.

Timeskip. Now I'm roaming around the hospital and asking about where they sell the "league of legends champion eggs with props" and their prices. Some say 6 liras (72 US cents), some say 7 liras (84 US cents). This may seem cheap, but this dream takes place in a public hospital (aka poor people hospital) in a poor country. A normal price would be 3 to 4 lira (36 to 48 US cents).

Timeskip again. I find a white room with multiple displays that show all of the champions. There's a vending machine in front of it. I take look at Tristana, my main and fave. Her prop is a penis as long as her arm and it glows. Apparently that penis belongs to Teemo.

I put my money (can't recall the amount) in the vending machine and get an unknown champion that isn't Tristana. I get 5 liras (60 US cents) of change back and put it back in, but immediately regret it.

To all those read this, I'm really sorry.

His mouth is where my arsehole is.
When someone asks for my opinion, id say, hmm i wonder what justin bieber thinks,
Then ill pull down my pants, show them my ass, make my arsehole talk a la ace ventura and let justin bieber speak for himself.
I wish i was making this up.

Thats the dream. I woke up laughing.

Post Edit:
I think ill name this dream « ask the bieber »