What are pushing dreams about?

I had a crush on a girl 32 year ago. I never told her that I had a crush on her.

I haven't thought about her 32 years.

Last night, I had a dream. She was pushing a stroller to a park and complaining to other moms that I didn't help out with changing diapers. I was running around with other people playing football, but I still heard what she said.

Against my better judgement, I looked her up online this morning.

I was beyond shocked and sat in front of my computer motionless for almost half an hour or longer. I felt no air in my lungs and it was as if my body forgot how to breathe...

I found out that she had just passed away 11 days ago. There was an obituary from her family as well. Not really sure why, but I called her phone number from 32 years ago. The number was her parent's house from back then. A man picked up. It turned out to be her brother. He and his family now lives in that house. I told him who I was and he remembered me.

As I started telling him about my dream from last night, he became very quiet and said nothing for several minutes. I thought line had gone dead, but it turned out that he was crying. What he said next shocked me to my core... He said "did you know that she also had a major crush on you back then?" and "a couple weeks before she died, she said she was still in love with you and she really wanted to see you one last time, but we didn't know how to get in contact with you"....

I feel all the energy drained out of me. My entire body feels like it was injected with pure sadness that no words could describe.

It starts with me falling off my roof and landing into a stranger's van, literally going through the roof of his van. Then they drive me to a FedEx station to pick. We get there not saying a word but stare back at each other, like with him driving without looking at the road just staring a me in the back with rubble under me. He tells at me to get out and I do. I then thought I should apply for a job at the FedEx to pay for the guys broken van roof. I walk in and ask to see if I can apply, I was shown to the backroom that looked like it was extremely armored walls(concrete with heavy duty steel I beams and plates). I then get to this vault door with a secret service man standing there, he open the vault. I walk into the vault and see that bill nye the science guy there wanting to talk to me (he did the come here motion with his hands). Bill then pulls out a gilden dildo and says "go fuck yourself" and proceed to weild the dildo like a mace and bat me over the head with it. Then I "wake up" in the dream in my bed. I go and do normal morning, entill I see the gilded dildo on my desk. Dispite me being a straight male I got the extreme sense/urge to shove it up my own ass. Since I am not circumcised I dont have any lube. So i try to find the next best thing, some olive oil. Got some from the kitchen and slathered the dildo in oil. Then ran to my bed and locked the door. I then slid it up my ass feeling much better then I think sliding something up your ass should be. Then I achully woke up. I still have jo clue as to why I have dreamt this, what it means, why was it so weird in the beginning, and why the fuck I would willingly shove something up my own ass and find it enjoyable.

I dreamed that my mom went into a large building with an orchestra and a movie theater. She was wearing a beautiful white dress and was inviting me into the orchestra hall. I walked up to the door with her and the man in front taking the tickets said something to her and myself that I can't remember before she walked away and I did, too. This happened again, and then I walked out of the ornate white building with gold trim on everything and left. The floors were dark marble.

After that, I dreamed that I, my cousin, and she were all looking at animals in square cages lining walls from floor to ceiling creating more aisles with the backs of the walls being plywood. There were several walls in the same room with an aisle on the right and I believe right center where one could walk from one aisle to the other through. The room was dark, and each animal cage was lit by a single bright light in a corner of the cage. There were aquariums, too.

One animal was a black octopus. It was my mom! My mom had become a black octopus which sat in the back left corner of its aquarium under a black light, the UV lights that glow purple. I could see like a hologram superimposed behind it her laying in a hospital bed. My cousin and I looked on wondering if she would die or live. She lived. Then I left the animal room after looking at the other creatures in their cages including a bird and a black reptile.

I was back in the ornate white building with the orchestra hall and the gentleman taking tickets--actually it was names for the reservations. She was there wearing the white dress. It looked like it was a kimono with a more flexible piece of fabric for the belt and her hair was pulled up like one of the queens from an ancient Chinese painting. She walked me to the orchestra room door again and then we went past a dark movie theater in the same building. The man at the door of the orchestra hall said that she wanted me to see the orchestra. She eventually stayed while I left.

Finally, she died. I said, standing in front of a dilapidated convenience store in a strip mall late at night with a full moon out over a sky of flat, low-hanging, thick clouds, “I'll sure miss talking to her on the phone.” At that moment, an old fashioned black baby carriage--the kind that you push with the baby lying flat facing you on four spoked wheels--moves itself forward, then backwards. Then it moved itself across the street to me and I looked over the top of it to find where a baby should have been there was a black spider with eight long legs which were pulled into a heart shape with the body forming the dip between the two top parts of the heart. Beside it was a silver, cylindrical container with a light blue, hermetic sealing on it and a bow of the same color. I cried, “Mother, it's you! You came back! It's you!”

Now, when I woke up...

I woke up to tell my mother. I noted that both times she became a black creature with eight legs. She, being sick, didn't want to hear about it before going to the hospital for radiation therapy mapping. I told her younger sister who said, “But what does it mean?” I told her that I had no idea. She said that it didn't sound good.

In the hospital for radiation therapy mapping, my mother's creatine levels were too high. She needed dialysis, and they admitted her. She had a reaction to the dialysis. She had to have emergency embolization of a tumor that started bleeding because of the heparin from dialysis. She was laying in the ICU half dead like in the dream where she was a black octopus. Everyone but myself and my cousin thought this was the end.

We both, with me out of town and him in the room with her, watched on--just like in the dream--to see if she would live or die. She lived--just like in the dream.

Then she moved to a hospice. She lived there for awhile and then suddenly got sicker and died.

Just like in the dream, she had a close call, pulled through, lived for awhile, then died quickly. The last part of the dream though...

What do you think it means? By the way, the orchestra hall door was shut until she opened it the first time she walked me there. Then the right door of the double door leading into it remained ajar for the rest of the dream.

I've told my friends about this dream and their reactions were a mix of concerned, horrified and baffled. I really want to share this dream I had because it haunted me for weeks and I feel I'm owed some actual explanation.

This dream was incredibly vivid - - when I woke up I thought briefly this had actually happen. I will speak generally and omit details for brevity but feel free to ask for specific information.

I don't know if any of you know Onision but he is somewhat of infamous YouTuber. I don't follow him or the drama around him so I have no idea why I would have a dream about him.

The dream starts off with me and my mother driving. My mother is the driver and I am sitting in the back for whatever reason. We have no destination if I recall. We were driving across massive deserts that didn't seem to end. There wasnt anything for what felt like hours. Until we come across a parking lot.

My mom slows down the car to a stop as we see a couple is stranded due to their car being visibly in disrepair. I recognize that the couple is Onision and his spouse. This actually scares me - - I turn and tell my mother we should avoid them and leave them here. My mom disagrees with me and offers them a drive from across the parking lot. At this point Onision does not speak and neither does his spouse.

They just get in the car.

Onision sits next to me and his spouse sits in the passenger seat, next to my mother. I am extremely uncomfortable with this and as we drive again I put great effort to avoid eye contact with Onision. But I can feel this weird energy exuding from him next to me. I know he's there.

Now for several hours, Onision says nothing. I found this weird but it eventually made me feel calm as I stared out at the window. I can vividly remember watching the shadow of the car and the landscape shift the further we went.

The Onision began to insult my family with no prompt given. I cannot recall what he says here so don't ask me, but trust me when I say it must have been offensive or deeply personal as it made both me and my mother cry. What I'm about to say is going to come across as though it happened a lot faster than it actually did but.

I reacted by pushing both Onision and his spouse out of the moving car. I somehow moved from the back seat to the passenger seat to pushing Onision's spouse out of the car even though they did nothing wrong? I don't know. Neither of them put up a fight. Next moment, my mom is holding me as we both sob. I tell her how wrong she was for offering Onision help and she agrees with me, and it is all very, very dramatic.

Now. Flash forward a year into the future.

My old high school asks for me to give a motivational speech at one of their assemblies. For some fucking reason I decided to talk about my encounter with Onision.

To keep it brief, it did not go well.

The audience was either bored or outraged by my speech. Both made sense because for some reason I decided to add false details to the story that made it more longer and extravagant than it needed to be.

My reputation was tarnished by this and I was incredibly humiliated.

Fast forward ANOTHER year.

I am now homeless. I know, I know. But I remember very vividly living in an alleyway in a cardboard box. I was very skinny and my hair was oily and I stank of sweat and blood. I don't know how my speech about Onision ruined my life to this extreme, but it did. I was very cold and very afraid.

One day, a kind stranger offered me a dollar. I decided to go to McDonald's and buy myself a burger. I'm very embarrassed because of my tattered clothes and everyone in the restaurant recognizes me from my speech. I go up to the register and ask for a kids burger very timidly.

When I look up, it is Onision. He is working at McDonald's now. He doesn't recognize me as the girl thpushinghed him out of a moving car two years prior and politely asks me if I want anything else.

Then I wake up.

For several hours after the dream I couldn't stop thinking about it and what it could mean. For days and then weeks it would randomly pop in my head. It's become a joke among my friends now because of how ridiculous it is but I really want answers.

What do you all think?

I had a terrible dream just now and i’m not sure what it means.
I fell asleep and i entered my dream. It started with my boyfriend and i together, in a walmart shopping for groceries for my grandfather. He was pushing me in the cart and i was telling him what he needed to get for the trip. I saw our mutual friend and invited him to join. We finish up our trip and go outside in the walmart parking lot. There’s now a huge group of us, and someone else is pushing me in the cart, i’m not sure who though. He pushing me into this big net, (the size of a circus tent), with the whole thing filled with bugs. i hate bugs. When i come
out i can’t find my boyfriend, so i have his friend take me home. When i get home i’m upset (naturally) so i go to take a nap. Here’s where it gets confusing. When i laid down, i tried to open my eyes, but i couldn’t. I could still move my body though. In the dream, i was laying down in the next spot i fell asleep in real life. So i couldn’t open my eyes, but i could move. This is already scary enough. So i try crawling down to the floor so i could go to the bathroom, and i make it there. I open my eyes a little bit and see that the bathroom is red, but that’s all i can see. I then go back to my room, in the same spot, and lay back down again. However, i didn’t make this decision willingly. It’s like something else lead me there, and forced me to lay back down. At this point it was hard to move, and all i could see was the ceiling above me. Then there was a repeating loop of me trying to get up and open my eyes, but i couldn’t. i kept trying to throw my head up, or jerk my arms or anything, but i still couldn’t do anything. When i woke up in real life, my neck hurt, i think i was jerking it in my sleep as well. This whole thing is very scary to me and i’m not sure what it means. All i know is that i was stuck in that spot, couldn’t move, see or talk. Towards the end of my dream i told myself to wake up, and i did. Can anybody please help my figure out what this means 🥺