What are black dreams about?

Hello all!
About 2 weeks ago I had a very existential lucid nightmare that I can’t get out of my head. It’s to the point where it has been effecting my waking life. I need some outside help making sense of what it could mean.

For context, I have existential issues involving what my purpose in life is or even if I am supposed to exist at all.

So it began in a sort of black void with a warm colored aurora in the sky. Directly in front of me there is a hooded man with his left eye missing that looks like an older grizzled version of me. Same look, voice, eye color, scar on our upper lip, everything. He is looking into a circular stone fountain looking thing with a bonfire positioned on a raised platform in the middle.

Around him in every direction as far as I could see were hundreds of thousands of gravestones. All of them had a vague “endings” written on them. (For example, “The Swiss Ending”, “The Atomic Ending”, “The Fantastical Ending”, etc.) Some were filled in while most had empty holes in front of them.

I approached the man in the middle and politely asked who he is and where I was. He simply responded with this,
“You know where we are, this is where we all go to die. Now find your grave, I’ll help you out when you get there.”
I responded with,
“My apologies, pal, I’m not dead yet. Who did you say you were again?”
“Does it matter? We’re all the same here anyway.”
That is when it occurred to me. All these graves were for different versions of me. From different realities or universes I don’t know. I was fairly certain I wasn’t dead and this was all just a bad dream so I decided to explore and possibly see which gravestone in this labyrinthine graveyard was mine.

As I walked, I started to feel a tug from my chest, like my heart was being pulled in a certain direction. I followed the pull for what seemed like ages. Eventually the graves just stopped except for this one gravestone sitting alone just outside of where the rest of them lay. As I approached my soul felt like it was it was sitting next to a cozy fireplace, so I had the feeling that this grave was mine.

I eventually got close enough to read it had it not been for the dust and debris that covered it. It looked old and dilapidated yet it still had an open plot in front of it. I brushed off the dirt covering the gravestone and what I read chilled me to my soul.
“The Bad Ending”

The old man came from beside me.
“What an unfortunate soul this one. Feel real bad for him, you know?”
“I think that’s me.”
“What? No, it couldn’t, he’s not-“
He looked at me, his face grew grim.
“Oh shit, you’re not supposed to be here yet!”
He then grabbed my face and I felt my brain shock like it had just been struck by Thor himself.

Then I woke up. Sweating, crying, and white-knuckled. It’s absolutely fucked with my mind ever since.

I will not tell the entirety of the dream. because most of it had no correlation, I know that.

It was just tests and reality checks, telling me to get my shit together since I'm a grown ass man who can control his ownself.

Now, I will mention an irl fact, I have a problem. I am parasitic. Whether you believe it or don't believe it, it matters little to me.
I can feel pains in my heart, things entering and moving around in my heart. It feels as if things are there, tugging and just moving. A stinging, sometimes.

Thats just to provide context.

Now onto the part of the dream I haven't been able to clearly decipher.

A book opened, and there was a kind of children's fairytale theme to it. There was a picture of a flat 2D grassfield, with the Sun in the sky and grass on the ground. On the ground laid a heart, my heart, I knew that right away. Perfect looking, rhythmically beating soundly.

Then, the Sun fell and the Moon rose. The once perfect heart that laid there was now black and battered. There were holes in it, and a green acidic looking ooze flooding from out of it. It's rhythm was all off, beating faster than its supposed to.

And then, The Sun rose again, and all was normal.
Until it fell again, then the black heart appeared once again.

There were 5 days of light, and 4 nights. The fifth day, a black bird flew in and grabbed my heart by it's beak and descended into the earth, dropping my heart into a lake of fire.

I woke up shortly after, and my heart was beating faster than usual. The Sun hadn't rose yet, but it was still morning.

One detail I forgot to mention, was that the word AVACADO was on The Sun on the fifth day before the bird grabbed my heart. I dont eat, or talk about Avacadoes.

Even writing this now, at night, I can feel my heart aching, beating irrhythmically, feeling ill.

A day passed and at night I prayed and asked what that dream was meant to show me.

I went through a test of some sort, overcoming something I would usually succumb to, and everything went pitch black.

In white letters, the message appeared.

"Learn to read, Troubled One.

Learn to read, quickly.

Learn to read."

Another day has passed, and it is now night.

I don't know what I wanted coming here. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone, get over my loneliness or ask for help. I'm scared but I feel like I shouldn't be.

Oh, something to note, I talk to the Sun for comfort. I call it Mr.Sun, and ask it to carry my prayers and messages to the Lord and Jesus. It's just something I do. I dont know if that carries any meaning, but yeah.

So a week ago my aunt passed away after fighting two months in a coma, cause my pneumonia. I can’t say I’m sad and I haven’t mourned her passing like most people. I am a spiritual person, so I believe she’s gone home, back into the totality of the universe, where we all come from. More than anything I’m just grateful I had the privilege to get to know here and love her, especially because she took care of me all the time I went to visit.

I wasn’t able to attend her burial ceremony, since I don’t live in the same country as her. But I’ve definitely been thinking of her the past days and all the great memories we made over the years.

Two nights ago, in a dream, I appeared at her house. I am aware she passed away so I go look for my uncle (her husband). I find him inside his room and I give him a strong hug and I tell him, “I’m so sorry for what happened, I love so much uncle.”

Then I walk outside the house onto the patio. My phone began to ring, and I pick up. On the other end somebody asks me about a friend like, “What did Mike say?” At that point I’m confused, and I as I tried to talk I say, “hello, anybody there?” No response, only noise so I hang up.

As I ended the call I see my aunt walking out from inside the house with a container filled with dishes or clothing. She walks pass me and says, “Hi son, I’ll be right there with you in a sec.” At that moment, I’m shocked, I look at my mom and ask, “does she know?” Referring if my aunt knows what happened to her and that she’ll depart this reality. My mom replies, “yes she does.”

Also I must mentioned that her body was beginning to turn like black matter. It looked like black roots had began covering her body from here feet, kinda like the roots of a tree. Only that the roots where coming from the ground.

A little while later I see my aunt in the kitchen, and my mom calls me in and tells me my aunt is ready to see me. At that point I’m a little scared and nervous. So I walk into the kitchen and I make I contact with my aunt. She looks at me and ask, “Son, do you love me.” I replied, “of course, I have always loved you and I will always love you. No matter what happens or where you go, I will forever love you.” And then I tell her, “don’t worry, now you have become pure love, the strongest energy there is in the universe.” I hug her and she starts crying. At this point my aunt has three eyes, the third eye in the middle of her forehead.

It was so intense, it felt so real. Shortly after I wake up, and my heart is racing.

I really don’t know what her having a third eye meant. But I feel like she did visit me on the dream state, the astral dimension. I strongly believe she came to say her last goodbyes.

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Not sure if anyone has such experiences before. I’d be interested to hear your take on this and what you think it meant.

Thanks for reading.

It started with me at a crossroad, I tried to make cars collapse using telekinesis after finding out I was dreaming. Nothing worked. The strangest thing was that I could use my imagination, visualize things in my head, and then come back to the dream. That's how "stable" it was.

At one point, I encountered a man who wore a black jacket, and had thin black hair. He told me this dream was real.

I sighted heavily. "This can't be real!", I let out.

"Oh really? Well how about I prove it to you?" the man said with a grin.

"I will translate any given word or sentence to French, I assume you don't know any French... You can check Google Translate to see if it's correct when you wake up.", the man added.

I started thinking. What could be a real good torture test here?

"Hmm, I have been to France many times..." I said. "I'm afraid I might've subconsciously seen the word, and it's translation already."

And then I had a grand idea: "What if I translate a sentence that I never had to use IRL in France?!", I thought.

"Ok...", I turned to the man with a smirk. "Translate: I am dreaming".

The man said something back with a French accent. I don't remember the exact word anymore as I really didn't know how to write it. But it was really short.

"Wait that short? There's no way that's the French translation."

"Oh, I'm sure it is, you can check later when you wake up."

"Can you say it again? I really want to remember it clearly..."

The man said it again, it was once again audible but impossible to write down in letters for someone that doesn't speak French (and perhaps dreaming might have something to do with it).

"I'm afraid I can't remember that too clearly", I said, worried but at the same time not willing to let this chance go.

"Just type the English sentence in Google Translate and see if it sounds the same, that should be enough.", the man said very confidently.

-----

After I woke up, you can already imagine the first thing I did. I opened Google Translate (https://translate.google.nl/?sl=en&tl=fr&text=I%20am%20dreaming&op=translate) immediately after waking up as to avoid forgetting any more than I had to. And indeed the translated sentence sounded exactly the same. Creepy...

It was a room. Empty. Black, bit with white lines. As if you colored the lineart of the walls white. There were no lights but there was a faint glow, just enough for me to clearly see. There was...something in the corner of the room. Crying, muttering to itself, drawing on the walls with what I thought was a red marker. But as I inched closer, I realized its fingertips were cut off. And it was drawing with its blood. The blood was bright, not like normal blood. It was like, neon red. Very strange.

I don't exactly remember what it was drawing but it was drawing the same symbol over and over again. It was whimpering to itself. My brain automatically went "Help it, it's hurt" So I put a hand on its shoulder. It didn't even jump or get startled. It just stopped everything. It lowered its hand from the wall and slowly turned its head to face me. It had strange features. It was tall, skinny. But it still had like, basic human anatomy. It had a nose, lips, a chest, muscle definition (of whatever muscle it had) It was just a completely black skinny human, but with crazy eyes that were completely white. And they were...scribbly. Like if you took a white pen and angrily scribbled a circle on black paper.

It stared at me for a second, before saying in a raspy, pained voice. " You're like my art in a lot of ways." It moved closer to me. I smiled slightly, " How so?" Its hand curled around my neck, but not choking me, as it leaned into my ear and whispered, " You were created. You have blood. And..." It leaned in with its hands still around my neck, its lips almost brushing against mine, " I can rip you up whenever I wish."

With that last word, it dug its fingers into my neck. Literally. Its fingers went through my neck, piercing the flesh. I choked a little bit. Then like a movie, it cut to a different scene. Back to it drawing on the walls. Then it cut again to it curled into a ball, sobbing, whimpering, muttering. Then I woke up with the horniness of a thousand 13-year-old boys. Which was hella confusing. So like, what the fuck?